Mottos for 2012

I hope all of my readers are having a wonderful holiday season (that includes you, person who found me by searching 'girls underarms and boobs'. Welcome to my acting blog.) and are feeling good about what's been accomplished in the past year. (Take a look at my post on creating an annual review.) For myself, I'm feeling frustrated when I look back at the past year. When I look at where I am now compared to where I was late December, 2010, I can't find anything that's really changed. There have been some great events, like working at Perry-Mansfield and doing my first professional show, but it still feels as though I haven't grown much. I'm still living with my mom. I feel stuck and incredibly unproductive, as much as I talk big about efficiency here. I should be taking advantage of this free time and living situation, but the reality is I haven't even opened the past two issues of American Theatre.

I'm not sure why I feel uninspired, but continuing to live at home is not helping. So by this time next year, I hope to look back on this post and see how much has changed this time around. Aside from the goals I set in my Year In Review post, I've also been coming upon themes/mottos for next year in my journaling (which I've been much better about--not perfect, mind you, but better).

JUST START--This was the first motto that came up when I was initially battling lack of motivation. It worked decently well, to the point that it became not about starting, but sticking with it in my second theme. At the moment, however, I may need to revisit this one.
COMMIT--If I start something, it often has a hard time transitioning into a regime. For example, it's been a week since I worked out. I need to work on the repetition essential to forming habits.
TAKE TIME TO ADVENTURE--I have friends with fabulous international jobs and, to be perfectly honest, I'm pretty jealous of them. I feel as though I am tied down by my career, that if I don't slave away at it constantly and currently, my time will expire. Au contraire. In many of the workshops and talk-backs I had the pleasure of attending in college, the speakers emphasized the idea that we have time. Not only that, but I believe that the best way to understand the lives we portray is to experience the life we are given.
DO ONE THING EVERY MONTH TO FEEL FABULOUS--I'm ready to leave the self-conscious, only moderately successful, poorly-dressed actor that I was in college behind me when I move. I want to give Chicago a version of me that looks and feels confident without compromising whatever eccentricities that are inherently me. My favorite blue cardigan with the hole in it will have to go. Every month, I will do one thing to make me feel a little less dorky and a little more polished.

Have a happy new year everyone! Hydrate today and stay safe tonight. Tomorrow, we (stop having Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathons with my cat and Netflix and) start anew.

Audition #8: Barter Theatre

In my last post, I said I was going to try and post twice a week. Not really sure when I planned on starting that, but clearly it wasn't before now. Oops. But hey, there's always a new week ahead to try again.

A week ago, I went up to Abingdon, VA to take part in the Barter Theatre's general auditions as well as their auditions for the Barter Players, a troupe of 6 actors who have graduated college or have equivalent training. Here's how the day went...

Date: December 11, 2011
Acting audition: 11:00
Dance audition: 12:15
Player interview: 6:30
Auditioned For: AD Richard Rose and others
Pieces:Vianne from the novel Chocolat by Joann Harris
Bess from Hunting and Gathering by Brooke Berman
Attire: Dark purple jacket layered with yellow cardigan and gray tank
Denim trousers
Brown oxfords

The auditions for Barter were held at their alternative space, Barter Stage II, which is a lovely building with a cafe that is open before and after performances and looks across the street at the main stage. When I arrived, I was greeted by Casting Assistant Kevin Dmytryka, who had me fill out some forms and return them with my three copies of my headshot and resume. Then I milled about the cafe area with the other waiting actors. If any of my dear readers audition at Barter next year, I want to give you a heads-up: There is no place to warm up. The cafe is right outside the theatre itself, so do your vocal warm-ups before you arrive!

The folks at Barter are very organized and will take good care of you. They announce a whole set of auditioners and will have two people on deck while one is auditioning. They are quick to smile and make the whole process as painless as possible.

A tangent: A week or so before I went to this audition, I talked on the phone to my good friend Richard McKenzie, who is one of those actors that you've seen or heard plenty of times before but can just never quite place him.

Richard McKenzie as Fred Bunker in All In The Family

Dick is a fabulous storyteller, so when I told him I was auditioning for the Barter, a theatre he has worked at, he was off to the races. He said when he auditioned, his number was 13. He was waiting offstage, watching number 12 do an intense monologue from The Master Builder and she ran off into the wings and into Dick's arms, crying and shaking. He said, "I thought, if she's this scared, then I'm outta here!" He left the building, walked across the alley and was going to leave before the stage manager caught him: "Are you number 13? Get in here, they're waiting for you!" So he went and auditioned and was hired. "If I had made it to my car, I never would have been an actor." (If you go to the Barter and look directly above the door into the box office, you'll see Dick's rather cynical-looking head shot.)

When my name was up, I was the very first of the set and was a little caught off-guard, but marched into the space (which is a very intimate thrust stage) while the stage manager announced my name and number... Number 13. I couldn't help but smile, thinking of Dick... and also that I didn't have to face number 12 running into my arms.

I tried to keep the pace up with Vianne, which resulted in me feeling like I wasn't thinking at all. Of course, this may be beneficial for me. I'm notorious for chewing things up and mulling them over too much before getting them out of my mouth, but when I take the direction of just picking up the pace, I don't "feel" anything (us actors always wanting to be sentimental). I am completely unable to judge whether my performance benefits from quicker speech and reduced (or quickened?) thought. All that is to say, I really don't know how well Vianne went. I do know that I kind of settled into things, including my breath, for Bess. Her monologue felt much more present with clearer tactical shifts and the last line got a laugh (internal squeak of joy). I feel fairly confident overall with the acting auditions.

Barter Stage II. Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty living space.

 When you register for the auditions, you are given the option of attending the dance call, which is encouraged. As someone who has two left feet, I say do the dance call. I actually had a ton of fun. You will have a chance to change and warm up. The combination they teach everyone is not advanced and they take time to help you with rough spots and give you alternatives if you are unable to do certain choreography. They teach the combination to the group as a whole, then they will select some people to stay to learn more advanced choreography while the rest go into another room to work on what they've learned and help each other. Once everyone has had time to review, they pull auditioners in 4 or 5 at a time to perform the audition. Smile a lot. If you mess up, do it big. And do only what you can do. I had a blast.

My mom and I spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying Abingdon, making fun of how fancy the Martha Washington Inn is, and poking around out in the boonies. Then I napped a little before my last appointment: the Barter Player interview with Katy Brown, Artistic Director of the Players and Associate Director. She meets with everyone all together first to tell candidates the following:

• This is not for everyone.
• This might not be for you.
• You will work your toosh off.
• It is a 15 month contract.
• There is very little time off.
• This might not be for you (again) and if you decide not to have an interview, we will not hold it against you and you will still be considered for other roles.

Challenge: Accepted 

But really, it is a helluva long commitment and she is right. That sort of thing isn't for everyone. But I see myself in a state of transition, headed toward moving to Chicago, a direction that could be changed. I am in a position where I could take on 15 months of working my toosh off. So I had an interview. She is very pleasant and straight-forward. She mostly asked me about my resume, but she did ask what I am specifically working on with my acting right now and the dreaded "Do you sing at all?" I almost got through the day without having to sing, but alas, she got a nice little rendition of Happy Birthday. She told me they would be in touch with candidates in February and March for another interview and that was pretty much it, I thanked her and said I had to get home and feed my farm animals, which started some chitchat about milking (her sister also has goats!). I like to find out a little bit about the person asking all the questions.

Then I headed home to some hungry ponies.

I had a fantastic day in Abingdon, as long as it was. I feel confident about my work and I enjoyed meeting a few new people in the time in between auditions and interviews. I find that an organization is reflected in the people that keep it running and the people that it attracts and everyone that I ran into at the Barter--whether they were teaching a dance combination or announcing auditioners or auditioning themselves--were warm and welcoming. It seems like a lovely, nurturing place to be. Even if they never call me, I will definitely be back to see some more shows!

A Year In Review

Friday the 18th marked the 1-year anniversary of the completion of my degree. It's weird enough to graduate. It's even weirder to have graduated a year ago. When I left college, I was completely exhausted and plans for the coming year aside from "move" and "get a job" weren't really taken into consideration. I have my momentum back and I am going to take this anniversary as an opportunity to review the past year and create goals to reach before next November 18th.

I've never conducted an annual review, so I have been referencing some of Ben Whitehair's posts from Playbills v. Paying bills (here and here) as well as his source, Chris Guillebeau here (includes a spreadsheet template for your own annual review) and here.

Looking Back
Stats 
7 Auditions
1 Call-Back
1 Role

34 Blog Posts, including this one (approx. 1.6 per week)
Approaching 2,000 pageviews

?? Headshots dispersed (several hard copies and plenty of digital copies)

What Went Well
I did well this year to take advantage of opportunities (sometimes unexpected) that came my way, including my time as a camp counselor. During that time, I tapped into skills I didn't even know I had, leadership and working well with kids, which I hope to continue to develop. There is also something to be said for getting an acting job while living with my mom in the middle of nowhere. Not only am I proud of getting the role, I am also proud of my performance. While I was working on the show, I developed a strong relationship to the artistic director of the theatre and I think the relationships I've formed and maintained have been a highlight of the past year.

What Did Not Go Well
It has been a challenge to find ways to motivate myself to work at full capacity, knowing there's nowhere I need to be in the morning, no due dates, and no professors who's respect I want to earn. It's just been me, sans schedule and time restrictions and, while I have gotten some things done this year, the level of my productivity is disappointingly low. I also had every intention of being in Chicago by now, which may have been possible with better planning and budgeting. The extra time at home will inspire more restlessness, I think, but possibly also generate a little more money for when the time does come to move.

Looking Forward
Guillebeau suggests creating categories and setting 3 to 5 goals for each one. So here it goes:

Acting (artistic):

• Read the rest of Shakespeare's plays.
• See 15 plays.
• Enroll in an acting class. (Auditioning?)
• Bring monologue repertoire up to 10 total (5 classical and 5 contemporary). 
• Journal every day. Yeah. Every day. I think about acting that often, therefore I can write about it that often. 

Acting (business):

• Increase blog postings to twice a week, possibly add interviews and reviews.
• Increase tweets to 2+/day
• Send out mailings every quarter.
• Send out professional email every quarter.

Financial:

• Create a budget and stick to it.
• Set up retirement fund and contribute $20/month.
• Set up credit.

Health and Fitness:

• Run a 5k.
• Flexibility--To be able to sit and bend at the hip with elbows resting between legs. To be able to hold bottoms of outstretched feet.
• Join a soccer team.
• Largely replace snacks with more protein and veggies and less salt and fat. (So this one's not really measurable. Whatever. You know what I'm sayin'.)

Friends and Family:

• Send friends mail or goodies at least once a month.
• Return home for Renaissance Fair and/or Christmas.
• Date night with Chris once a week, even if we stay in.

 Other Jobs: 

• Set up etsy site and have steady supplies of cards and coasters.
• Put out advertisement for baby, pet, and house sitting every 2 weeks.
• Add self to care.com.

Habits To Pick Up:

• Knitting
• Sewing
• Get back to writing fiction and poetry. 
• Driving (No, I still don't drive. Don't make fun of me.)
• Paper crafts/Collage

I realize that some of these goals are subject to change, as I will soon be in a new city with new challenges and there will be a lot of adjusting in many aspects of my life. Many of the goals are created specifically for once I am settled in Chicago. I didn't quite make it there this year, but when people ask when I'm moving, I say "In the spring" or "April or May." I no longer preface my answer with "Hopefully" or end it with "...but we'll see." It has been set in motion. Another post coming soon about the steps I'm taking to prepare, but until then, let me know your goals for 2012 or in general!

Boarding the Pan Am Soapbox

I have been a sorry excuse for a blogger lately, especially considering how consistent I was earlier this year! But I've still been making progress--mostly in other areas of my life. I'm deep-cleaning my house, and I put my room in an order that I think I can deal with while I live here for one more winter. I also had a highly stressful yard sale to help put away money for the big move. It didn't quite go the way I wanted to--my boyfriend and I argued a lot and the first weekend was the coldest we've had since last winter. But we gleaned about $200 out of it, which is tucked away in my little Chicago tin.

I've also been watching some tv (aka hulu) including my old faves: "Fringe", "Community", etc. I've watched "New Girl" with Zooey Deschanel. What's going on there? It's given me some good laughs, but I'm not sure where that's headed. For example: where did Coach go? I haven't watched the third episode. I hope he's back, but I doubt it. Thoughts? But I've also discovered "Pan Am".

Period tv shows are in vogue lately, such as "the Tudors" (okay, so that's real period) and especially "Mad Men". I think it has been a wise choice for "Pan Am" to ride on the coattails of the latter, using the previously-generated glamor of bob haircuts and beautiful '50s and '60's costumes to attract a pre-fabricated audience. While I haven't watched a whole lot of "Mad Men", I think the role of women is important in both of these shows. In "Pan Am", we are following a small group of women who have found a way around what Betty Friedan calls "The Problem That Has No Name" in her book, the Feminine Mystique. Mid-century housewives were widely reported to be depressed and restless, feeling as though their life was incomplete and they had nothing to look forward to. The Pan Am stewardess was maybe the first of a line of exceptions that would eventually lead to second wave feminism, which makes for a pretty incredible group of people to follow from season to season.

I hope television is on the path toward reforming the way women are represented, that maybe that one scene where Christina Ricci stabs the passenger with a serving fork for trying to get in her girdle is another first in a line of exceptions. I'm afraid that it isn't, because not only has Pan Am's rating dropped 27% this week but media that continues to perpetuate the idea of woman that we all are familiar with. Like this one, from the Spike TV website geared towards men:

Or this one, from Victoria's Secret (for women...?):

Not a whole lot of difference in what the image is projecting, except that Victoria's Secret is working a little harder to show off the bra. (Side note: Nobody's armpits are ever that smooth. Jus' sayin'.) Then there's Dr. Pepper, who has decided that their ad campaign for their new diet soda is...

USA Today says that not only are the commercials for this product saying things like "Hey ladies. Enjoying the film? Of course not. Because this is our movie and this is our soda," and "You can keep the romantic comedies and lady drinks. We're good" but that the facebook page for Dr. Pepper Ten has an app "that allows it to exclude women from viewing content."

I'm totally cool with men being manly and I don't drink diet soda anyway. It isn't the elevation of manhood that bothers me. I love men. I love my boyfriend. I love a shirtless Hugh Jackman.

Nobody has to tell me "sex sells" goes both ways. I just think it's time to find a way to elevate the men that we love without degrading what it is to be a woman. The documentary "Miss Representation" looks into the media's effect on women, how women make up 51% of the population and only 17% of Congress, and how even those women who have made it to the top are degraded. The film is centered around what Marie Wilson, the Founding President of the White House Project says:

You can't be what you can't see.

The media is a powerful tool that can be used to anyone's advantage and, as I am speaking to artists and performers, I'm hoping I can plant a little seed in your mind. It's time something changed. Women don't want to be better than men. We love our men. Our importance is lost without men, as theirs is without ours. We just want to be equal. And as media professionals, I believe we can do something about it. Welcome aboard.

Relevant Links:
Miss Representation website
The White House Project
Topeka, Kansas Considers Decriminalizing Domestic Violence To Save Money: In the comments section, a woman named Melissa L Jacobs has posted a link to a petition.
Eve Ensler's V-Day: V-Day is in February. If you were thinking of hosting an event, it's time to start planning!

Going To See The Elephant

Way back in April, I did an audition for a little theatre here in the Blue Ridge called Ensemble Stage Company (Check out that post here) and, naturally, I assumed that I wouldn't be hearing back from them after I had waited a good while. I set my winter/spring audition marathon in the past and went forward, which ended up with me in a uninsulated cabin in the Rockies taking miniature actors and dancers under my wing. But not so fast! The last week at camp, I got an email from Gary at Ensemble Stage asking me to be at callbacks for 'Going to See the Elephant', the last show of their season, on that Sunday. The fact that I intended to be leaving Colorado at the time of the callback resulted in frantic email writing and nail biting while waiting for a reply.

But all was well. I went to alternative callbacks on Wednesday with a couple other girls. (And you know what? I have no idea what I wore. Sorry, not my usual M.O., but things have been a little crazy!). The callback was with Gary, as the audition was, and he had us reading from three or four sides and swapping out characters. I ended up lagging behind for a chat with Gary as the other ladies left, which resulted in him offering me the role of Etta.

Wait, would that mean... My first professional role? Why yes it would!

There we are at our first read-through! I'm the mess on the left. Photo by Jeff Eason.

 We had nine rehearsals. Count 'em. NINE. Not only am I used to leisurely rehearsal periods, I also usually get parts like "MacDuff's Child" with only 10 lines. It's a bit of a different story when there's only four women to share 50 pages of dialog. I was hoping to really apply the Practical Aesthetics technique (read A Practical Handbook for the Actor by Bruder, Cohn, Olnek, Pollack, Previto, and Zigler) but ended up doing a truncated version of the script analysis for the sake of time, since the technique is usually very particular and nitty-gritty. So, to be honest, I don't think I've ever used any of my "as-if's" from my work, but outlining my objectives (or "actions") was definitely helpful. The whole thing desperately made me wish I had that pocket-sized version of my teacher that I always joke about.

What has been very beneficial and worth the time I put into it has been my physical work. Good ol' Chekhov. I love him so much. A little "contracted with hope" here, a touch of the largest circle of awareness there, plus avoiding eye contact... It's gotten me pretty far in nine rehearsals and just as many performances. Except I have weird knots in my back now because of Etta's physicality.

Photo by David Rogers. Again, the mess on the left.

 

 

One thing I really love about this show is that it's about women, by women, with a female cast and (in our case) a female director. And yet it doesn't scream angry feminism and burning bras. While men aren't present on stage, they are present in the characters' lives, and are spoken about in honest, often loving, ways. But having the men offstage or "in town" allows an opportunity to show what women are capable of and what they did regularly as pioneers--coping with trauma, putting a beloved cow out of misery, making their children's pants out of flour sacks, nursing the weak and burying their yucky dysentery stool, and somehow managing to find some joy in a piece of ribbon or a book of maps. They were absolutely against all odds. They lost hope, children, peace, but Kansas is settled, as well as everything west of that. It makes me wonder what else we can tough out, what else we can pioneer--women and men alike.


The show closes tomorrow. It's been such a joy to work with the cast and with Lisa and Gary. The hilarious rapport Gary and I have built will hopefully continue through future projects, perhaps a children's acting camp on Saturdays, and who knows what all. It's been a whirlwind--a hurricane if we want to be more appropriate for the season--of a process. I couldn't be happier with the play or the people that have been my first professional show.

Back in One Piece and Then Some

I'll confess something to you: I've really been back from Colorado for a few weeks and I haven't posted about my summer until now. Partly because I've been ruminating--there's too many fantastic stories to share here. And partly because I've found myself in a show, but that's for another post. This one's just for Colorado and the kids and the snake outside my cabin door.

I had a really good feeling about the coming summer when my friend Heather and I pulled into the camp and there was a pasture of horses and snow still topping the mountains. Needless to say, it was a hell of a lot better than driving through Kansas. It's funny to look back on the first day, the first meeting of the program coordinator while he helped me move in--who I would end up loving after two months, going on a hike led by the day counselor who would have me in constant laugh attacks. And then there's my fellow cabin counselor, Danielle, who I now can't imagine what it was like not knowing her.

Getting to hang out with the other counselors for training week probably lulled us into a false sense of comfort. And then the campers came. I really haven't had much experience with kids, aside from recently taking on babysitting a 2 year old, but I knew that was nothing like wrangling teenyboppers. To be honest, I was terrified. And nothing makes me happier than to say I was totally wrong to feel that way.

 

These are my Junior campers. We battled homesickness and sick tummies and 4th of July heat together. We played improv games in the common room and re-enacted Disney movies in less than 3 minutes (or 5.. or 10 as it sort of turned out). And oh muh wuuuurd did they make me laugh--impressions of teachers and chasing staff with their sweatpants pulled up under their armpits. After two weeks, I felt like we had spent months together and if the love they had for each other wasn't apparent yet, it certainly was when they had to say goodbyes. I love to hear about Mayana's latest achievement in horseback riding or Kat Ann's audition success and I hope they will all keep me updated.

Two days after my Juniors left, we were inundated with Young Artist Intensive campers, aged 13 to 16. You thought I was nervous before? Again, how wrong I was.

 

Talk about a cabin full of laughs! These girls constantly surprised me with their outstanding maturity. I always got such warm fuzzies when I heard them encouraging each other through the tough parts of not only being 13, but being a performer on top of it--the word "beautiful" has never been used so sincerely. I loved that they would carry their headshots around with them (which probably cost more than I got paid for the whole summer) and that I busted into the common room because I heard one of them say "You're an asshole!" only to find that they were working on a scene. I have such fond memories of the day we went rafting and we totally threw the concept of "camp appropriate" out the window. They are so dedicated to their work and their open hearts will take them far. I can't wait to see where they land.

And then there were my fellow counselors...

...who rode horses with me, gave each other a place to vent, made hot chocolate in the kitchen while the kids were dancing in the Green Room, got me to have a wedding folder on my desktop, appreciated bathroom humor, endlessly abbreviated words with me (I still get texts), brainstormed hypothetical plays (Immunization: the Musical), shared books, sat on the office porch, made awkward jokes...

It's not to say that there weren't times when my patience was tried. There were days that I wanted nothing more than a movie with my boyfriend and my cat. There was a point where I was so mad I was in tears. And I was often put in a position of not knowing what the plan was and having to pretend I did for my campers. But this summer was such a gift because of my kids. No matter what happened, I found myself fighting for them before myself. It made it worth any crap that I had to wade through to see them make silly faces at me or to see one of the more reserved girls step out of her shell or to watch them dance and act bravely and confidently.

I told myself that I would probably never go back, but when one of my girls told me over facebook that she wants to go back to Perry-Mansfield, but she really wants to be in my cabin again... It makes me seriously reconsider...

Half Speed on Vaycay

Three weeks ago, my summer plans were founded on hauling kayaks and babysitting, with little theatre work beyond reading AT and various plays. Today, I am writing in a cabin in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado during a week-long counselor training at Perry-Mansfield Performing Arts Camp. While I would make more money fitting life vests and tying down boats, my Sagittarian restlessness had definitely become overwhelming and while I love Todd, NC it's pretty devoid of people to talk theatre with. Here, I'm surrounded by people who speak Actor, by horses and mountains that still have snow in June. Not to mention my enthusiastic campers who will be showing up on the 24^th. I'm bracing myself for the Beiber Fever. The food is delicious, the air is clean, and while I'm positive my cabin is haunted, this little Sagittarian is very content.

However, I do regret to say that Half Speed will be put on temporary hold, or at least have much less frequent posts. Between wrangling 12 and 13 year olds, riding horses and enjoying the mountains, there really isn't much room for walking down to the office to steal WiFi. Regular posting will resume when I return in August and I hope you will all come back then to hear about my Colorado adventure.

Thank you all so much for reading. If you all have any ideas for posts for when I return, stick them in a comment. Until then... have a wonderful summer!